


my fire was fate with you

by obsessive-fics (xoPrincessKayxo)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 03:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17113586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoPrincessKayxo/pseuds/obsessive-fics
Summary: Dani is less than thrilled when her band gets a gig opening for Fiona Lester, someone she considers to be the opposite of everything she stands for. But after being on tour forces them together, Dani realizes she might have misjudged Fiona, and an unlikely friendship blooms





	my fire was fate with you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [homesickghosts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/homesickghosts/gifts).



> A huge thank you to my beta for making this fic the best it could ever be. And to [homesickghosts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/homesickghosts/pseuds/homesickghosts), I hope this fic is everything you dreamed of! Merry Christmas 
> 
> (Title from Honey by Kehlani)

“Who’s the best manager in the world?”

Dani looked up to her manager, Jade, practically floating into the studio where she was recording with her band, the Violent Femmes. They were taking a break after a twenty minute argument about whether their new song needed a thirty second instrumental break. Dani thought the song sounded better without it but her guitarist, Dodie, was insistent, and Sam, their drummer, refused to pick sides.

“Are you gonna tell us the good news, or do you need to be flattered first?” Dani asked, from her spot, hanging upside down on the couch.

“Flattery, please,” Jade requested with a grin, propping herself on the arm of the couch.

“Jade, you are the best manager in the world, we would be singing on the streets for change if you hadn’t found it in your heart to take us under your wing, and we thank the universe every day that we have you.”

“That’ll do. I just got you guys a gig opening for Atomic Kittens,” Jade announced, and Dani nearly fell on the floor.

“No. Absolutely not.”

“They literally have the number one song in the country right now. Do you know how much exposure this could get you?” Jade asked in that way that meant, I know the answer to this question, you don’t, and we’re doing this whether you want to or not.

“This could ruin our reputation! All they sing are girly songs about boys and makeup, or whatever it is straight girls sing about,” Dani said, shifting so she was sitting upright. Atomic Kittens weren’t exactly the best role models for their listeners, who were mostly teenagers. All their music did was enforce the stereotype that girls should base their worth on whether they were being considered attractive by boys, instead of just being able to exist as they were.

It was all this faux sense of empowerment, like it was somehow feminist because they were choosing to do things that made them more appealing. But all it did was isolate girls and gender nonconforming people who didn’t fit into that extremely narrow, extremely heteronormative view of what it meant to be a woman. And teach the girls that did fit into it that they couldn’t be anything more than that. Dani hated all of it, and the last thing she wanted to do was attach their name to people who promoted stuff like that.  

“People have to know who you are for you to have a reputation.”

“Hey!”

“Look, we’ve been over this. The first step in making a change is getting your name out there. You’ll make a much bigger impact once you broaden your audience, and opening for a best selling artist is the way to do that,” Jade told her, and Dani hated it when she was right. It was possible that the audience at an Atomic Kittens show really needed to hear the things she had to say, about loving yourself for you, and not trying to fit into that narrow definition of womanhood. And hopefully doing this would mean expanding their audience, which was the best way to get their message out there. Finally, Dani sighed.

“I’m still not happy about this.”

“Either way, I’ve already agreed, so you’re gonna have to put on your big girl pants and deal with it,” Jade said, and Dani knew there was no fighting this.

And that was how Dani found herself standing face to face with Fiona Lester, one of the biggest pop stars in the world right now. There was no denying Fiona was gorgeous, with her long, straight jet black hair framing her big blue eyes. But Dani had a very strict policy against falling for straight girls, and especially straight girls that made asinine bubblegum pop.

“We’re so excited to work with you! Diane played us some of your stuff and we loved it,” Fiona said excitedly, holding out her hand.

“Hm,” Dani replied dismissively, looking past her. “So when do we get started?”

Admittedly, she was being unnecessarily mean, but she wasn’t going to be yet another person in Fiona’s life falling all over her. Even if she was tall, and beautiful, and exactly the kind of person Dani would’ve fallen for before she learned better.

“Well, we have a week of rehearsal at the Roundhouse, and then we fly to New York for the first show,” Diane, Atomic Kittens’ manager explained.

“Sounds good to everyone?” Jade asked, and they all responded affirmatively. Dani couldn’t believe Jade and Diane were already such a united front. She knew she was being a brat, but honestly; they’d built a whole reputation on being unapologetically queer and underground, and now they were associating themselves with a band like Atomic Kittens, who were the very opposite of everything they stood for. It was all so colossally fucked up.

“Hey, can I talk to you for a second?” Fiona asked a few minutes later, pulling Dani aside while everyone settled in to talk setlists and venues. Dani rolled her eyes, but went willingly.

“Yes?” she asked, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall.

“Did I do something to you?” Fiona asked, and she looked so confused and hurt, Dani genuinely considered backing down for a second. There was something about someone that pretty looking that sad that always got her. But not this time. She couldn’t back down, not now. Fiona had to know where she stood.

“Look, I know you’re used to everyone around you worshipping the ground you walk on, but that’s not me. I don’t like you, or your music, and I’m not going to pretend I do just to make you feel better,” Dani said coolly, and she didn’t miss the flash of hurt that crossed Fiona’s face, before she steeled her expression into something much more closed off.

“Do you practice being that bitchy or does it just come naturally?” she asked icily.

“It’s a talent,” Dani replied with a sarcastic smile.

“Great. Well, can you at least try to be civil? Like it or not, we’re in each other’s lives now. You don’t have to like me, but you do have to respect me.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

With that Fiona stormed off, and the adrenaline from their confrontation wore off, leaving Dani with nothing but guilt. It wasn’t like her at all to be that catty, but Fiona had walked in with her perfect hair and makeup, and her perfect smile, and she’d just… snapped. Was there really any reason to be like that right off the bat? Well, either way, it’s not like she could start being nice now. Fiona had made it very clear that her disdain was mutual, and that was just fine with her.

Dani spent the rest of the week actively avoiding Fiona. She’d come out, rehearse, and then hide in her dressing room until she was sure Fiona was gone.

“Don’t you think you’re being a little ridiculous?” Dodie asked. They were on their twenty minute break and they were spending it how they always spent their free time—eating snacks they’d taken from craft services, and playing video games.

“I’m protesting,” Dani said, using her blue shell to get ahead.

“Hey! And you’re not protesting, you’re throwing a fit because of your own preconceived notions. You don’t even know Fiona,” Dodie pointed out, not looking away from the screen.

“Whose side are you on here?” Dani asked, instead of acknowledging that maybe Dodie had a bit of a point.

“Dani, you’re my best friend. Which means I’m always on your side. It also means I can tell you when you’re being an idiot,” Dodie replied, pulling into first place and then giving Dani one of her ‘I’m right and you know it’ looks.

“A double betrayal. That hurts,” Dani said, dramatically draping herself over Dodie’s lap, and hugging her controller to her chest.

“Just think about it, okay? It couldn’t hurt to be a little nicer. We’re all gonna be in pretty close quarters for the next few months, and it would make it so much easier on me if you didn’t spend the entire time being a brat,” Dodie said, reaching down to push Dani’s curls out of her face.

“Hey, don’t touch the hair!” Dani replied, swatting Dodie’s hand away.

“Not until you promise to play nice,” Dodie singsonged, continuing to ruin the perfect, ruffled look Dani had spent all morning on.

“Fine, fine, I’ll play nice,” Dani conceded, and Dodie grinned smugly.

“Thought so.”

* * *

Sleeping on a tour bus was torture. Once she was asleep, Dani was dead to the world, but it was _getting there_ that was the hard part. She just stayed up in her bunk, worrying about all the things that could go wrong. Eventually, she got tired of being alone with her thoughts and climbed down out of bed to go grab a water bottle. She was carefully manoeuvring herself into the main part of the bus when she noticed someone was already sitting out there.  

“Jade?” she asked, turning her attention towards the couch.

“Sorry to disappoint, but no,” Fiona answered, looking over at her, and Dani could tell she’d been crying. Immediately, she wanted to turn around and pretend she hadn’t seen her, but girl tears were kind of her kryptonite.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, walking over.

“What, so you can have more ammo to make fun of me with?” Fiona asked, crossing her arms, and looking down.

“I’m genuinely asking. I would never kick someone while they were down. Besides, my therapist is always going on about how unhealthy it is to bottle this kind of stuff up,” Dani replied, and Fiona sighed, putting her head in her hands.

“I miss home, and my family, and I’m motion sick on top of it all.”

“Well, I can’t help with the first thing, but I do know a good cure for motion sickness. Come on,” Dani said holding her hand out.

“Really?” Fiona asked, looking up skeptically.

“Me being nice is gonna expire eventually, better take advantage,” Dani reiterated, and, still looking apprehensive, Fiona took her hand.

“Hey, Bill, can we sit up here with you?” Dani asked, once they reached the front of the bus where the driver's seat was.

“Of course. It’s a good view,” Bill replied. Dani had spent more than a few nights sitting up at the front of the bus with Bill instead of sleeping. Listening to him talk about his home and how much he loved his wife and kids always took her mind off of whatever was keeping her up.

Dani sat down on the floor of the bus next to the driver's seat, and patted the space next to her.

“Just keep looking straight ahead, I promise it’ll help,” she told Fiona, who after hesitating, sat down.

“Thanks.”

“For what?” Dani asked, looking over at her.

“Being nice to me,” Fiona said, shrugging.

“Yeah, well don’t get used to it,” Dani replied, looking away. It was unreal, how even when the only light coming in was from harsh streetlights, Fiona was still gorgeous. She had her hair pulled up in a messy bun, instead of having it down the way she usually did, and Dani really wished she could stop herself from stealing glances at her.

“Why are you up, anyway?” Fiona asked, snapping her out of her thoughts.

“Oh, you know, anxiety induced insomnia,” Dani replied shrugging.

“Oh… Sorry,” Fiona said in the way people always do when they’re not used to hearing people talk that openly about their mental health.

“It’s fine, I’m fine. Really,” Dani assured her, shrugging. It wasn’t anything new, and it wasn’t anything she couldn’t get through.

“She’s been up here the last three nights in a row. Maybe you can get her to talk,” Bill broke in, and Dani had nearly forgotten he was there.

“Wait, seriously?” Fiona asked, looking over at her.

“Hey, we’re not here to talk about me. Are you feeling better?” Dani asked, and Bill laughed.

“She’s really good at deflecting, don’t fall for it.”

“I won’t,” Fiona replied, laughing too.

“I feel like I’m being ganged up on here,” Dani said, crossing her arms, but she couldn’t help but smile a little.

“Well, I know we’re not exactly best friends, but how about a truce? Whenever something is really wrong with one of us, we’ll put that aside and talk about it,” Fiona offered, and Dani found herself completely taken aback by how kind and generous that was of her.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay. We’ll call a truce,” she agreed after a while, and what surprised her even more was that she meant it.

* * *

Things were different between them after that night. Whenever Dani couldn’t sleep, she found herself staying up with Fiona. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they watched movies-Fiona was appalled when she’d heard Dani had never actually seen _Home Alone,_ and this led to an entire Christmas movie marathon. Fiona was actually a really fun person to watch movies with, and one of very few people who didn’t mind Dani’s need to immediately discuss all of her feelings about whatever they’d just watched. So when Dani was wandering around one of their venues, and heard Fiona singing a song she didn’t recognize in her dressing room, she didn’t hesitate to walk over and listen for a little while.

“What song is that?” she asked, leaning in the doorway, after Fiona had stopped singing.

“Oh, it’s just something I’ve been working on,” Fiona shrugged, putting her guitar down.

“Why don’t you make more music like that? It’s beautiful, it’s about real problems, it’s not-”

“Bubblegum?” Fiona broke in cooly, and Dani flinched. Okay, she kind of deserved that one.

“I wasn’t gonna say that.”

“Yeah, you were. You’ve been condescending about the kind of music I make since the day I met you. But here’s the thing: I like the music I make. It makes people happy, it makes them want to dance. Maybe it’s not ‘changing the world’ or whatever, but it doesn’t have to.”

“I didn’t mean anything by that. I just think it sends a message to young girls that-” Dani started to explain, but Fiona cut her off.

“See, there you go again! How is me being myself sending a bad message?”

“I never said that! I would never shame someone for the way they choose to express themselves,” Dani argued, and Fiona rolled her eyes.

“Are you actually kidding me right now? All you’ve ever done is shame me for the way I choose to express myself—my music, the way I dress, the way I wear my hair. You seem to have gotten it into your head that I wake up every morning and go, ‘huh, how can I exist for men’s entertainment today,’ which is honestly laughable for so many reasons,” she replied, and a realization hit Dani like a bucket of ice water. She was being a complete hypocrite. Here she was, priding herself on spreading the message that there was no one right way to be a woman, and she’d been doing nothing but looking down on Fiona for just being herself. How backwards was that?

“I guess I just grew up being inundated with this idea of what a woman is supposed to be, and so the minute I could I rebelled against it, and started to resent everything that didn’t,” Dani explained. It maybe wasn’t the most rational thought process in this world, but she’d spent so much of her life being put down by exactly the kind of person Fiona was, she immediately jumped on the defensive without considering that maybe everyone wasn’t out to get her.

“I get that. But you know, infighting only makes the oppressor stronger,” Fiona pointed out, and Dani just stared at her, speechless.

“What, you think I don’t know anything because I make cheesy love songs?” she asked, picking her guitar back up, and strumming at it lazily.

“I never said your songs were cheesy,” Dani muttered, looking down.

“Just vapid, shallow, asinine, and meaningless,” Fiona listed off pointedly, and Dani flinched with each word.

“I’ve been a jerk, huh?” she asked. Just because Fiona made music that was different than hers didn’t mean that the kind of music Fiona made was bad. And besides, Fiona was one of the best live vocalists she’d ever heard. She could learn a lot from her if she let herself.

“Yeah, a little,” Fiona replied laughing. “But I forgive you.”

“You don’t have to, you know. I was being unfair, and judgey, and I get it if you don’t really want to.”

“I want to. Life is easier that way. Besides, who could stay mad at a face like that?” Fiona asked, smiling up at her, and Dani was actually going to melt into a puddle right then and there. This was bad. This was very bad. She had to get out of there now.

“Oh. Well. Thanks. I should—I’ve got—um… I’m gonna go now,” she rambled, inwardly cursing herself for being the least articulate person in the world.

“Okay, weirdo. I’ll see you later,” Fiona said laughing, and Dani spun around so fast she almost hit her head on the doorframe.

* * *

 

Dani sat at the piano in her dressing room, playing random chords, and humming to herself. It had been a surprise when they’d gotten to the venue and she’d nearly tripped on it, but she was glad it was here. She’d had this melody stuck in her head ever since their last show, but she didn’t know what to do with it. She was so engrossed in playing, she almost didn’t notice when Fiona sat down next to her.

“Hey,” Fiona said softly, startling her back into reality.

“Oh! Hey,” Dani said, turning to her. Fiona was wearing a dress with R2D2 on it, and smiling at Dani softly, and she really was so gorgeous it hurt.

“What’re you working on?” Fiona asked, completely oblivious to the mini crisis Dani was having.

“I don’t really know yet. This melody just popped into my head,” Dani explained, before playing it.

“That’s really pretty. I’ve always wanted to try songwriting,” Fiona said, tapping a few random keys on the keyboard.

“What about that song you were singing the other day?”

“Oh, that’s not… That doesn’t count. I was just messing around,” Fiona said, looking down sheepishly.

“All songs start out as messing around. I can help you write one. I mean, if you want,” Dani offered, before she could think better of it. What was she doing? Spending more time with Fiona was nothing but a recipe for disaster.

“Really?” Fiona asked, smiling at her excitedly.

“Really.”

“You’re the best, thanks Dani,” Fiona said, hugging her. It was a bit of an awkward angle, considering they were sitting on a piano bench, but Fiona smelled like vanilla and honey, and honestly, Dani could’ve stayed like that forever.

* * *

“I’m in trouble,” Dani announced, throwing herself down on the hotel bed dramatically.

“Trouble how? Do we need to set up an alibi?” Dodie asked, from where she was sitting on the floor next to her bed, playing her guitar.

“I may actually be like... really into Fiona,” Dani admitted, rolling over so she was staring at the ceiling.

“Oh, that kind of trouble,” Dodie said smirking, and then started to sing.

_She could be the one, she could be the one_

“Are you actually singing a Hannah Montana song to me right now? In this time of crisis,” Dani asked, glaring over at her best friend, but Dodie remained unfazed.

“You never should’ve told me about your Hannah obsession,” she teased, continuing to sing _He Could Be the One_ and changing all the pronouns.

“I was twelve!”

“Okay, okay, sorry. If you like Fiona, why don’t you just tell her?” Dodie asked, setting her guitar down next to her.

“Because she’s straight? Because I spent a really long time being unnecessarily mean to her, so even if she did like girls, she’d never be into me now,” Dani listed off, and then groaned. This was awful. She was gonna spend the rest of tour looking like a lovesick puppy. She was pathetic, and breaking every rule she’d set up to protect herself.

“One, how do you know she’s straight? She’s never had a public relationship, and you’ve never asked. And two, you’ve apologized for that, and she’s forgiven you. I think you’re making up excuses not to put yourself out there,” Dodie said, and Dani really, really hated it when she was right.

“It wouldn’t be worth it though, right? I mean, we’re on tour for another month, and we just became friends. How would I face her every day?” Dani asked, sitting up, and Dodie crawled up on the bed to sit next to her.

“You’d take a deep breath, and be a professional about it. But you’ll never know unless you go for it.”

“Okay, what if you’re right? What if I ask her out, and she says yes? She’s never had a public relationship. What would that mean for me, dating someone that’s closeted? I’d be hiding a part of myself, and I decided a very long time ago that’s not something I’m comfortable doing. I’ve built a whole career on being out and proud, and people have responded to that. I love it when people come up to me, and tell me I gave them the courage to come out. What would I even say to them if I was in a closeted relationship?”

“Okay, now you’re just getting ahead of yourself,” Dodie said, and Dani glared at her.

“I’m being serious.”

“Dani, you are one of the strongest women I know. The worst thing that could happen is she says no, and if she does, we’ll write a really good song about it. And if she says yes, but wants to hide it, well… you can cross that bridge when you get to it. Either way, you’ll get through this,” Dodie said, wrapping an arm around her comfortingly.

“Since when are you the wise level-headed one?” Dani asked teasingly resting her head on Dodie’s shoulder, but she was more than grateful to have a friend like her.

“First time for everything I guess. Come on, let’s go find Sam’s room and see how fast we can get into the minibar,” Dodie suggested, squeezing her arm.

“Now that is a brilliant idea.”

* * *

“So what’s your process?” Fiona asked a few days later. They were sitting at the piano onstage during one of their rare days off. It had taken some convincing, but the owner of the venue had let them in a day early so that they could use it. They could’ve just used Dani’s digital keyboard, but those were really only meant for one person. And, plus, Dani kind of liked the way they had to squeeze together on the piano bench.

“My process?” Dani repeated teasingly, and Fiona rolled her eyes.

“Shut up, you know what I mean. How do you start writing?”

“I don’t know, really. A melody comes to me, or something happens and I need to write about it, or I see an image I want to capture, and then I just… mess around on the piano for a few hours,” Dani explained, shrugging.

“Helpful. So, how’d you come up with _Flowers in Your Hair_?” Fiona asked, hitting a random note on the piano.

“That’s the song you wanna know about? The one with the single most embarrassing origin story?” Dani asked, and Fiona bounced up and down excitedly.

“Now you _have_ to tell me.”

“I wrote it to impress a girl,” Dani muttered, looking down. She’d met Violet when they both went to pick up the same It Was Romance album at a music store, and it was instant fireworks. She used to go back to that store an embarrassing amount of times a week to see if she could run into her, and eventually Violet got tired of waiting and asked her out first.

“Oh my God! That’s amazing. Did it work?” Fiona asked excitedly, and Dani laughed.

“For a little while,” she replied, shrugging. One day, without warning, Violet called her to tell her she reminded her too much of her ex, and she just couldn’t stay with someone like that.

“Oh. Sorry. We don’t have to talk about it if it’s sad,” Fiona said, placing a hand on her shoulder gently.

“It’s not. Well, it used to be, but that was a long time ago, I’m beyond over it now, and she’s married,” Dani said, waving it off.

“Whoa, really?”

“Yup.”

“I wish I could do that,” Fiona said wistfully.

“What, get brutally dumped?”

“No, I mean, I’d never have the courage to do what you do,” Fiona explained, and Dani braced herself to hear how brave it was of her to be out, and even when people meant well, it still felt kind of condescending.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“To write about loving women the way you do. It’s beautiful, I’ve never heard anyone capture that feeling so well.”

“...Oh,” Dani replied, completely taken aback. Was Fiona… coming out to her right now?

“Don’t look so shocked! I’ve been flirting with you for weeks,” Fiona said, bumping their shoulders together.

“You’ve been what?” Dani asked, turning to her. This was too much information at once, she was going to short-circuit.

“Come on, someone promised me they’d help me write a song,” Fiona said, turning back to the piano.

“Right, the song. So I was thinking it could start out like this,” Dani said, playing a few notes.

“Oh, that’s pretty. Play it again, I think I’ve got something,” Fiona said, and Dani nodded. She started to play again, and Fiona started to sing.

“Wow,” Dani said after she’d finished singing.

“It’s good?” Fiona asked hopefully.

“It’s more than good, it’s incredible,” Dani told her, and Fiona looked down, her entire face turning bright red.

They spent the rest of the day working on the song, and by the time they were finished with it, they were tired, and their voices were hoarse, but Dani had never been more proud to be a part of something.

“Thank you. For doing this for me,” Fiona said, smiling over at her.

“Of course. I had a lot of fun writing with you,” Dani replied, smiling back at her, and it dawned on her just how close they were sitting. She could see the roots in Fiona’s hair where the dye was fading, and the flecks of green and gold in her already stunning blue eyes.

“Look, Fiona, I-”

“Yes?” Fiona asked, and they were so close, Dani wanted nothing more but to close the gap between them, but she couldn’t possibly do that... Could she?

“Fiona! What are you still doing here? You were supposed to be in hair and makeup twenty minutes ago,” Diane called, and the two of them jumped apart.

“I’d better go. Thank you again for this,” Fiona said, standing up.

“Anytime,” Dani replied, and Fiona waved, before following Diane out of the room.

“What the fuck am I doing?” Dani muttered to herself as she watched them walk away.

* * *

It was their last show. Dani couldn’t believe it. All those months on the road, waking up in a different place every morning, and it was all coming to an end. She was sitting in her dressing room absentmindedly hitting notes on her keyboard when Fiona walked in.

“End of tour blues?” she asked, sitting on the couch next to her.

“You get those too?” Dani asked, surprised. She’d figured Fiona would be overjoyed—now that tour was over, she could go home and see her family. Dani had talked to them a few times while Fiona was skyping them, and she could tell they missed her as much as she missed them.

“I think everyone does. For months, you have this purpose. You get up every morning, and it’s like, okay, today I’ve been put on this planet to entertain people. And those people come up to you, and tell you how much your music means to them, and it all feels so tangible. You don’t get any of that in the recording studio,” Fiona explained, sitting down next to her.

“Wow, that’s… That’s exactly how I feel about it too,” Dani replied, in awe. Fiona just kept finding ways to surprise her.

“I want you to perform with me tonight,” Fiona blurted out, and Dani couldn’t believe it. Her, perform with Fiona? They’d had a ton of fun writing together, but she never in a million years thought Fiona would want to full out perform with her.

“What?”

“Our song. I want to perform it. Diane would never let me release it formally—something about alienating listeners. But I think it’s amazing, and I’m so proud of it, and I want everyone to hear it,” Fiona told her, and if Dani was a cartoon, there’d definitely be hearts floating around her head right now.  

“You’re amazing,” she blurted out without thinking, and Fiona blushed, and smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“So you’ll do it?”

“Yes, of course,” Dani told her, because there was no way she could say no to Fiona when she looked at her like that.

“You’re the best,” Fiona said, hugging her.

“That’s me,” Dani answered, hugging back.

Fiona pulled away, and smiled at her again, before standing up.

“This is gonna be our best show ever. I can’t wait,” she said, clapping her hands the way she always did when she was excited. It was strange the things you started to notice about a person once you’d been around long enough. Like how Fiona was almost always wearing glasses unless she was onstage, or her extensive collection of thigh highs with silly patterns on them, or how she loved pizza, but had been completely offended when Dani offered her a grilled cheese one day on the bus. She was weird and endearing, and she cried when fans brought her pictures of their dogs, and Dani fell harder for her every day.

Dani also couldn’t stop thinking about what Fiona had said, about having been flirting with her for weeks. She hadn’t brought it up again after that, and Dani was way too nervous to say anything. What would she say anyway? _Hey, sorry for taking out my internalized misogyny on you, wanna go out?_ Something about that seemed so wrong.

“What are you so deep in thought about?” Dodie asked, walking in.

“I really gotta start closing my dressing room door,” Dani sighed, looking up.

“Come on, I know your overthinking face. Spill, what’s going on with you?”

“It’s Fiona—she kind of came out to me,” Dani admitted, looking down at her hands. Something about saying it out loud made it even more real, and she absolutely did not know how to handle this.

“Well, isn’t that great news? Now you can ask her out,” Dodie squealed, shaking her excitedly.

“Just cause she’s into girls doesn’t mean she’s into me,” Dani pointed out, and Dodie rolled her eyes.

“Dani, the only way you’d know if a girl was into you is if she held up a giant sign that said DANI I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU, and you’d probably still ask me what it meant.”

“I guess I can be kind of clueless, huh?”

“Yes. Look, Fiona trusted you enough to tell you something that deep and personal about herself. I think that means you’re good enough friends now that even if she does say no, it’ll be okay,” Dodie reassured her, wrapping an arm around her comfortingly.

“And if it’s not?” Dani asked in a small voice.

“I’ll be here for you,” Dodie told her, and it was good to know that no matter what happened, she’d always have her best friend.

* * *

When the lights came up that night, it was unlike any other performance. Tonight was gonna be different, Dani could feel it. They played their set, and the audience was a little bored at first, most of them just wanting this to be over so Atomic Kittens could come on. Dani remembered that feeling, the anticipation of seeing your favorite band, and having to sit through artists you sometimes didn’t even recognize at first. But eventually, the crowd warmed up to them, cheering and singing the choruses back to them.

“What a good crowd!” Sam said excitedly, once they were backstage, but Dani barely heard her. Fiona was walking over, dressed in her outfit for the show—a denim dress over a crop top, and of course a pair of thigh highs. These ones had dinosaurs on them, and Dani really wished she’d stop getting more perfect every time she saw her. She leaned in close to Dani so she could hear her over the music.

“Are you ready?”

“Of course,” Dani replied, once she found her voice. She didn’t know how much longer she could handle being this close in proximity.

“I’m so nervous, but also more excited than I’ve ever been about a performance,” Fiona told her, and she was usually only this jittery if she’d had too much coffee.

“You’re gonna be incredible,” Dani told her, and Fiona gave her a smile that could make flowers grow.

“Thanks. I’ll see you out there?”

“You know it.” Fiona gave her a quick hug, and then headed for the stage.

Dani wandered about backstage having snacks and scrolling through twitter on her phone, and before she knew it, she heard her cue.

“Do you guys wanna hear something new?” Fiona was asking the crowd, and they were cheering so loud, Dani almost didn’t hear what she said next.

“I wrote this song with someone very special to me, so I think it’s only fair she come out and perform it with me.”

Dani steeled herself, and walked out onto the stage.

“Please welcome back Dani Howell, lead singer of the Violent Femmes,” Fiona announced, and Dani waved to the audience.

“Thank you. For everything,” Fiona said hugging her, and Dani hugged back, before going to take her seat at the piano. She started playing, and Fiona sat down on top of the piano before starting to sing.

Performing with Fiona was unlike anything Dani had ever done. They played off of each other so well, and their voices sounded so good together. Dani felt like she was floating—she always had fun performing, but this was something else entirely. When they finished the song, she could see Fiona tearing up a little.

“That song is about the first girl I fell in love with, and I’m so glad I got to share something so meaningful with all of you. I uh, hope that you’ll keep support-” the crowd burst into the loudest cheering Dani had ever heard, drowning out the rest of Fiona’s words. People were standing, and a chant of “We love you, Fiona” had started up. It was all so wonderful, it made Dani feel a little teary eyed herself. She stood up, walked center stage, and waved for Fiona to come over. Fiona walked over, and she took her hand so they could bow. Then she moved aside so Fiona could have her moment. She deserved it.

Dani was glad this had all gone so well, and honored to have been a part of it. She was about to walk offstage when Fiona turned to her. Fiona held out her hand, and Dani took it, finding herself center stage again.

“I couldn’t have done this without you,” Fiona said, and her mic was on, so Dani knew everyone could hear, but it felt like it was just them. She shrugged, getting ready to wave it off—of course Fiona would’ve been able to do this all on her own.

But before she could formulate a response, Fiona was kissing her. Her lipstick was sticky, and it tasted like strawberries, and her hands were holding Dani’s face so gently, she never wanted it to end. Dani put her arms around Fiona’s waist and pulled her closer, but all too soon she was pulling away. Fiona smiled at her, and looked over at the crowd. Right, she still had a show to put on. Dani nodded, and kissed her one last time, before waving to the crowd and leaving the stage.

Once the adrenaline of everything that had just happened wore off, Dani found herself completely in shock. Fiona had just kissed her. On stage. In front of everyone.

“Dude! What just happened?” Dodie asked when she got back to the dressing room.

“I kissed Fiona,” Dani replied, still in shock.

“Well, yeah—I’ve seen twenty different videos of that. But like, what does it mean?”

“I don’t know,” Dani replied. There could’ve been a thousand reasons why Fiona kissed her—they were on stage, they’d just sang a really intimate song, she could’ve just been caught up in the moment. Or maybe she just wanted to make the message of the song clear.

“Dani, come back to me. It’s gonna be okay. Just talk to her while she’s on her break,” Dodie suggested, and Dani nodded. It wouldn’t help anything to just sit around thinking up worse case scenarios. The only way to know what Fiona was thinking was to talk to her.

It felt like forever before Fiona came down to the dressing room during her break.

“Hey,” she said, hovering in the doorway.

“Hey,” Dani said back, and Dodie rolled her eyes, stood up, and pulled Fiona to the couch where Dani was sitting.

“You two are gonna talk about this now.”

“Uh, Dodie?” Dani asked after she hadn’t moved from standing in front of them.

“Oh! Right. I’ll be around if you need me,” she replied, closing the door behind her.

“So…” Dani started to say, but Fiona launched into a full ramble, cutting her off.

“I’m so sorry. It was all so much, and I like you so much, and I just got caught up in the moment. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, it’s more important to me that-”

“Fi, slow down,” Dani broke in, laughing.

“What’s funny?” Fiona asked, and she sounded so hurt and confused, Dani stopped laughing immediately.

“Sorry, sorry, I just. I can’t believe you think there’s any chance I’m not crazy about you,” she explained, and Fiona smiled in the way only she could, that lit up her entire face.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“So… now what?” Fiona asked, looking far more nervous than she needed to be.

“Well, generally, I like to take a girl out before kissing her in front of a huge crowd of people,” Dani replied, and Fiona laughed.

“So, a date is in order then?” she asked, but before she could answer there was a knock at the door.

“Fiona, five minute warning!” Diane called.

“I’d better go. We’ll uh, continue this later?” Fiona asked, standing up.

“Of course,” Dani said, smiling up at her. Fiona smiled back, and they probably looked ridiculous, standing there staring at each other, but Dani was too hopelessly endeared to care. Her heart felt like it was beating out of her chest.

“Fi. Go,” Dani said laughing, and Fiona turned bright red.

“Right. Going. See you soon,” she said waving, and leaving the room, and Dani lay back on the couch, completely overwhelmed. She couldn’t believe anything that had happened that night.

“So, I take it that went well?” Dodie asked, walking back into the room.

“I feel like I’m floating,” Dani sighed, grinning over at her.

“I haven’t seen you like this in a really long time,” Dodie said, perching on the arm of the couch, and Dani laughed.

“Yeah, I can’t remember the last time I felt like this either.”

“I’m happy for you,” Dodie told her, reaching down to ruffle her hair.

“Hey! Stop it,” Dani laughed, shoving her hand away. But she was happy too. It was quite possible that this was the happiest she'd ever been.

* * *

_Six Months Later_

“Are you sure about this?” Dani asked, standing behind her girlfriend in front of the mirror at her favorite hair salon.

“For the thousandth time, yes,” Fiona replied, laughing. “It’s time for a change.”

“I just don’t want you to feel like you have to, to like, prove something. You’re not any less gay because you have long hair,” Dani told her, and Fiona rolled her eyes fondly.

“Well, thank you, but it’s not like that. I’ve spent so long being what I thought other people wanted me to be, and I feel like a lot of that’s been tied to the way I keep my hair. Do you know my hair looks the same on every single one of our album covers?”

“Well, yeah, but if that’s the way you like it-” Dani started to say, but Fiona cut her off.

“That’s the thing! I don’t know if that’s the way I like it. I was just scared if I changed it, no one was gonna want to listen to our music, or come see me at shows. And I already took a huge risk by coming out the way I did, and that’s only made my fanbase stronger. This is something I need to do for me,” Fiona told her, and Dani had never been more in love.  

“I love you. So much,” she said, wrapping her arms around her, and Fiona smiled at their reflection in the mirror.

“I love you too, weirdo. Can I get my haircut now?” Fiona asked, spinning around in her arms.

“If you two are done over there, I’m ready for you know,” Jessie, Dani’s usual hairdresser broke in, and Fiona nodded.

“Wish me luck,” Fiona called, following Jessie over to her station.

Dani sat in the waiting area playing games on her phone until Fiona was finished.

“So, what do you think?” Fiona asked, walking back over about an hour later. Dani looked up, and almost dropped her phone. Fiona’s hair was now in a mixed length pixie cut with one of the sides shaved, and she was smiling at Dani in the way only she could. Dani stood up, and leaned in close.

“I think we should go home immediately so I can show you exactly how amazing I think you look right now,” she said lowly, and Fiona blushed and smiled at her that way only she could.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I’m gonna go tip Jessie, and then I’m gonna hold you to that,” Fiona said, and Dani watched her walk away, feeling more than lucky that she got to be with someone as talented, and fun, and beautiful, and perfectly suited for her as Fiona was. She didn’t know what the future held for them, but the one thing she did know was that she wanted Fiona in her life for as long as she would have her.


End file.
